Long Distance Relationships Woes & Loneliness

It's 3:53 am on a saturday night and I just got back home. On first thought it'll sound like i just got in from the club.... this time last year, I would've been tipsy, drunk talking witha bunch of friends, and then going to my main squeeze's apartment to crash on the couch.

In many ways, I've changed in a year, and a lot of it has to do with being in a relationship. It was no secret that most of my friends were/are female, and sometimes i flirted with them, and sometimes i didn't... sometimes there was a make-out here and there, or sex here and there, and sometimes there wasn't... pretty much I liked the attention that came with being single and having multiple "friends."

I'm in a relationship now, and although I love my girlfriend, i can't help but crave that attention every now and then.. I've cut most of my female "friends" off, or at least limited interactions with them, and for the most part it's known information that i'm taken.

Back to the present... It's 3:59am now, and I'm sitting at my friend's place alone. No girl, no friend.. no one. My girlfriend is in another state fast asleep...or I think she is anyways. It's moments like these that u'd just love to have someone to lay with... whether she comes home with u, or was alseep when u sneaked into the bed, it really doesn't matter. All that matters is, there is someone laying in the bed with u. That feeling is irreplaceable.

It sucks to have someone a world away, and every now and then I get the itch to just call up someone and say, hey... let's just lay down and watch a movie.. I'd like the company. But of course with relaytionships comes boundaries and restrictions.

I knew what I was getting into when I got in it, and even though it is proving to be very difficult, I'd like to feel like it will be all worth it in the end.

With relationships like this, it always seems that we're working against all odds... Long distance relationships always has some form of cheating... it's expensive... it gets lonely...and attention is sort elsewhere. It's an uphill task, and right now, I'm not feeling very strong.